The tiny tots and their emotions

Do you think only pregnant women have mood swings?

You want to see someone who can showcase more emotional changes than a oscar winning actor?

You think only your friend is a drama queen or king who acts to get hus or her thing done as his or her wish?

If the answer is yes for the above questions then it means that you have not been a dad yet or you don’t have kids at your home for whose actions you are primarily responsible.

Infants and emotions are like the waves in CRT monitor in the hospitals. They are never constant and they should not be (if they are , you should seriously meet a doctor). They always change based on their need. For example, my son wakes up a day with a beaming smile and on the contrast he might wake up crying loudly the very next day. But there are few emotions which are static like the excitement when we take him to his favourite place, but them their favourite toy or simply gifting them for their good attitude. Infact their life is quite tough as they don’t know to express what is there in their mind as adults and so they chose an emotion to fulfill their needs.

So how do we deal with the emotional ups and downs the infants showcase? Frankly telling you its always not easy to convince them but i have few tips:

1. Do not encourage kids to throw tantrum: Kids have the habit of throwing tantrums to get their needs fulfilled but encouraging that shall make them believe that its a solution to get things from us. So do not encourage them throwing tantrums.

2. Encourage them to be happy : When kids are in happy mood, they will be too much excited and do things which might irritate the parents but it should not be restricted as stopping them shall discourage them from being happy and make them fear of being happiness.

3. Be a friend when they are upset : Be a friend to your infant and gain their trust so that they open up to you about their problems. Its easy for the infants to express their happiness but its not easy to express when they are upset. Find ways to make them happy and come to normalcy.

4. Know the reason of their tears. If they cry for a reason try to solve it but its frivolous then try to divert them to something which can excite them.

5. Be an ideal parent: Infants learn to showcase their emotion from the parent. So we share the responsibility to teach them the right way to express their feelings and how to control certain emotions at places.

In the emotional roller coaster of the infants we might lose cool at times but its more important to remember that kids are the purest souls after all and they don’t know to fake their feelings. Its us the parents who have to learn the tactics to handle the little ones for the benefit of both.

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Bedtime conversation with D

Bedtime conversation with D

It was bed time and the clock stuck 11. We switched off the lights. And that’s the time the world starts spinning for our 3.5 year old son ‘D’. Its a routine that serious (not so serious for us) starts when we go to bed after a long tiring day. We expect them to be tired as well but they behave the other way.

And to tell you more precisely the conversation would start from the word you utter and thats the trap. Yesterday the conversation started like this

Me : Gud night son.

D : Gud night Appa. But I am not sun. Sun comes in the morning and disappears at night. (Ah the kindergarden knowledge sharing)

Me : This is not that ‘Sun’ dear. It is S..O..N (I spell the word.)

D : Oh is it. Then we both are S(u)ons ah? (i didn’t know what he understood and which S(u)on he was referring to.)

Carefully I just say “Hmmm” without giving him a prompt.

D : Appa then chithi’s(aunt) son is Dhee. Am I right?

Me : No dear. Dhee is a girl and you should say ‘daughter’.

D : Why so? Why not son?

Me : In English the boy child is called Son and the girl child is called daughter.

D : (Confused) Oh is it. Ok. Then I will become doctor for Dhee.

Me : (Even more confused from where doctor came into picture) why doctor?

D : Ya i can’t be a daughter right. So I will become doctor.

Me : Ok guess you are feeling sleepy. Close your eyes now. Good night.

D : Appa you didn’t ask me what will I do when I become a doctor.

Me : ok tell me.

D : I will take care of everyone and so noone get uaah(in his language uaah means disease).

The proud dad in me smiled widely but to prevent more conversation and delaying the sleep time, I just give him Good night kisses and hug him to sleep.

The promising rain

Waking up kids in the morning is a huge task. Do you agree? If they are school going kid and more particularly on a monday morning is toughest. Let me tell you why it’s tough first. You yourself would be in monday blues and when you go to your bedroom after your coffee to wake up your kid, they will be sleeping calmly and peacefully. The moment we brush their hair and call them with the pet name that we address, they shall give a cute smile and cuddle into you. In this cute situation who will have the heart to wake the kid up. And then after so many attempts when you make them open their eyes, we want our kid to wake up happily isnt it? 

That’s altogether another big process. We should have a script ready to make them feel excited to wake up. When some days Chota bheem helps us, other days some news about family or events at school or someone’s birthday. There are not to be said things too. 

Today being monday all the mentioned happened at my home too. I wake up to see that it had rained early morning. I thought this shall definitely excite my son as he love rains. So i wake him up telling the story of how it rained early morning and he gets excited. He wakes up fast and runs to open the window. I help him opening the window to see stagnant water at our apartment entrance and lushy green trees. He confirms with me if the water is due to rains or overflowing tank. I gave a promising smile and said it was because of rains only. 

I felt some sense of achievement but it was all for few micro seconds. The happy expression in my son’s face changed to sorrow one. I was completely confused. Hugging me tighly and with a sad face he asked – “Daddy, why does it always rain when I sleep?”.  A week back also it had rained when he had slept and keeping that in mind he felt sad and disappointed. I quickly had to gain back my energy and with a dramatic facial expression I said pointing my fingers to the sky “Hey you clouds, if you dont rain when D is awake next time god will punish you severly. ” Seeing this my son was super happy and proud. His prayer today also had request for rains when he is awake. 

And here are the rains now. Pouring heavily, making my son happy. I write this while I am waiting at the bike parking for the rain to stop and eagerly waiting to see my super happy son. 

Cuddly cuddly sleep !!!

It was the second time in three and half years. I mark that night as one of the special nights. I didn’t sleep much that night. I was in my cloud nine and it took me some time to come out of the sweet shock and live the moment. 

Wondering what am talking about? It’s about my son and me cuddling and sleeping. Usually he doesn’t even come closer to me. He loves hugging his mumma and sleeping. I don’t know what happened that day. After his midnight course of milk, he came towards me calling daddy and hugged me and slept. The three year old son of mine has complaints about my beard which seems to irritate him when I hug him or kiss him. That day was an exception. He cuddled with me and murmured the words “love you daddy” which broke my sleep and kept me thinking if it was in real. 

I could hear him murmur in between about his grandma and grandpa. Guess he was dreaming about playing with them. He suddenly would go silent. I was just staring at the fingers that holder mine while sleeping, brushed his soft hairs, hugged him tightly because these things never would happen when he is awake as he is such a hyperactive fellow. Watching him lying down calm and quiet was really a boon.

This all lasted only for few hours and when he woke up in his sleep by early morning, he immediately gave a cry and jumped into his mommy’s arms. But I was still awake in amused…

Just a pose 🙂

Five ways to make your kid’s summer holidays interesting !!!

Five ways to make your kid’s summer holidays interesting !!!

The summer holidays for kids is nearing or would have already started for few. Isn’t it a tough job to manage kids for 2 months at home? They will be bored and hence either they would be glued to the tv or be at ground playing cricket in the scorching sun or finding ways to spend the time frivolously. Can we plan something which can make their holidays interesting?

Following are the five tips from me , to make your kid’s summer holidays useful and interesting:

1. Learn to fulfill their basic needs : When we always wish that our kids should grow up to be an independent person, they should be taught basic household work like drying clothes, ironing clothes, make coffee or tea, clean small vessels, cleaning their cupboard and arraging them, dusting house etc. How much ever your kids live a luxurious life, they should know to fulfill their basic needs and should not rely on others. So make them feel proud to do their work and encourage the same.

2. Enhance skills: Lot of institutions organise summer camps for various skills. I googled and found that there are summer camps for anything and everything from handwriting improvement to developing android apps for school children from age 5 to 16. Enroll your kid for the course matching their skill set. Few may be interested in doing a theatre course while some kids might like to learn a new skill like swimming or painting or dancing. Use this holiday effectively by sowing a new beginning or watering the growing interest in yout kid to shape their future.

3. Volunteering to social activities: Parents should be responsible first to bring up a socially responsible child. Just by telling our kids wont help the society but we should make them understand and actionable. They can volunteer to visit an old age home or orphanage all the days during their summer holidays and help the inmates in their needs. They can also find out for social activities happening around your place for cleaning up beaches or painting schools etc through internet and contribute to the same. Encourage them on the same even after their school reopens.

4. Trip to a new place: Holidays are always fun with outings or a trip but for indian cities summer outings will definitely not be enjoyable. Hence take a trip to a new place (hill station) where you can escape from the heat. If you find that not affordable, make a trip to your native village or rural area where your kids can get along with nature. The kids will definitely have to understand the life of rural people too as being in cities the kids see only the lifestyle that we are into.

5. Learn a new language: Learning a new language shall improve the creative side of the brain. Also learning a new language shall be fun for kids as that will be informative as well as exciting. Kids always wish everyone to recognise the result of every action they perform and this is easy way to gain recognition from friends and family.

Apart from the above you can encourage them in developing their reading skills, enrolling them for fitness schedules, plan for picnic with their friends and parents etc. 

Let me know if the tips were interesting. Do you have any such tips? Share it with me in comments. 

Dora the guide (explorer)

Dora the guide (explorer)

Being a dad of 3 year old, I have got into a habit of enjoying cartoon series with my son. I should admit that at times its not great to watch them, as the adult in us would nag us about other priority issues but when you see your kid enjoy the series and get inspired by them, we tend to shut the adult in us for sometime and get into the kids mode. Coming to the point, my son is a huge fan of “Dora the explorer” and he ensures that we all follow what Dora says when the show is telecasted. And it is the reason that made me to pen this blog.

I analysed Dora as an adult and found that its not just a regular cartoon series with some random jokes or action to make kids laugh. Dora is a guide and she has lessons which every adult should  also follow in the day to day life. These are the takeaway from the show for all.

Understand the problem: Dora has a problem in every episode and she has to solve it. At times we get panicked when we hear the term ‘problem’ but we should believe that every problem has a solution if we understand it completely. Dora portrays that clearly in the show. She understands the problem and its severity before she solves it.

Find a solution: After understanding the problem, Dora finds the solution to the problem. A lot of us have the tendency to jump directly into solving the issues instead of finding a solution first. We do not spend time to think about solution. Its always better to find a solution or the options to solve the problem and then go with the best solution.

Optimal use of resources: Its generally the nature of an individual to do it all by themselves. If that would have been the scenario then we wouldn’t have the monkey, the Map, the Backpack in the show.Dora teaches us to find the resource and use them wherever needed. The show also portrays not hesitate to ask for help whenever its required. The right choice of resources for the task should be made to solve the problem quickly and without hurdles. When you choose a resource, work with them as a team which shall make the work easier.

Appreciate everyone: We do not appreciate or thank people much in our day to day life when they help us. We assume that they are doing their duty. Even if they do their duty, we should appreciate or convey the regards which shall be motivating them to help more people. At the end of the day, everyone would wish for a recognition. Dora appreciates all her friends once the task is completed.

Appraise your work yourself: Do we evaluate our performances? Its really a quality to possess to be successful. Evaluating here not just should be rating your performance on a scale but could just be what you did well and what could have been well.Dora evaluates her task and finds the part of task which she likes.  

Celebrate success : Success is success no matter what is its size and we should learn to celebrate it. As adults we tend to be celebrating only huge success but fixing a small problem is also success and we should be celebrating them as well.

Do you agree with me that Dora is guide for adults as well??? 

Simple hacks to make your kid carry your dreams !!!

There are few memes and forward messages that are making rounds in social media comparing the contradictory message that Aamir khan conveyed through his movies ‘3 idiots’ and ‘Dangal’. In brief, ‘3 idiots’ convey the message of allowing the kids to choose their career themselves while in ‘Dangal’ he had portrayed the role of a dad who wants to fulfill his dream through his kids.

Isn’t there a confusion for the followers especially who are parents? The present generation parents already have so much to get confused with the options and opportunities available and the movies add their part to it. So can we completely leave the decision to the kids to choose the interest? Are we expert in each field to decide which is best of the kids? Does mind and heart sync in a decision made? There are never ending question which doesnt find a conclusion.

How to hack this and try to make your kids carry your dreams?

  • Sow interests: From infancy involve your kid in the activities that are around the interest. For e.g, if you want your kid to be a musician, make him/her to listen music a lot, if you want them to be a swimmer take them with you to swimming pool when you swim. Encourage them to participate with you.

         

    • Provide options: Show videos or take them to various options that you would like your kid to establish. Allow them to choose from that. It gives you an internal peace too.

                  

      • Never force : Now say that your kid has chose an interest on the option you had provided and you have enrolled them to the classes but the classes doesnt seem to be as interesting as they would have wished or have assumed, then do not force them. Try to find if the lessons are not interesting so that you work on it or try to find a better teacher who can make the lessons interesting.

        • Motivate: Do not threaten the kids if they are not interested to take the course.Its better to sit and make them understand the good results the talent would bring them or show them the legendary works and motivate them to have them as their idol and acheive.

          • Dont take it to heart: Even after doing all the above, your kid doesn’t seem to show enthusiasm or interest, do not get offended or complain. Take it easy. Try to understand that it might not be their cup of tea. Work to know what excites them and try to make them excel on the same rather trying to impose your interest on them.


            P.S : These hacks are just to give a try to make your kids carry your dreams and to attain mental peace 🙂