It all started that day when my wife called me to remind that we had a doctor appointment in the evening and I should come home ahead of my regular timing. The home pregnancy test did show negative few days before and we wanted to confirm with our doctor once. And it was positive but least did I know that we are going to face a new world of people who are going to compare every action and try to scrutinize every movement of our child.
“You doesn’t seem to gain weight at all. Is your baby normal?”
“Since you are working, i guess the baby is not getting enough nutrition.”
“See that lady. She is also in same month of pregnancy as you. But her belly seems to be huge than yours.”
We managed to cross the level of comparison when the baby was in the womb and were unaffected by all these as we thought this shall rest after the baby is born. But it took a new level of criticism after the birth of our baby.
“He is not fair as you. He is wheatish.”
“He is not chubby as you and your wife were when you were kids.”
“Why does he cry always? See the kid of his age. They are calm and quiet”
“Why is he getting thin day by day? See that baby. She is chubby.”
“He is already 2 and he doesnt know to tell story? My son tells stories about Krishna”
“Kids in his age have joined play school. If you delay then he wont be able to catch up. Look at his son, he already tells rhymes.”
My son is 2 now and we have heard the above penned questions and comparisons. Ok now if you think that these questions are put up by aunties or uncles or grannies in social gatherings, you are wrong. Most of the times it is a close friend or fellow parents we meet who are in our same age group (28 to 30s).
I have always felt that the kids of our generation who are born in the 80s and 90s have underwent major comparison with other kids in terms of looks, studies, jobs, marriage and what not throughout their life. The comparisons have resulted in making them either introverts or turn out to become stubborn and arrogant to defend themselves.
I personally feel that we should not pass it to next generation. Lets stop comparing our kids with others. Let them have inspiration but that doesnt mean they need to be like them. Comparison doesnt help them succeed but instead creates unwanted hatred. If you just think once about your life when you have been compared and crucified, you will remember the hatred that been generated for that person or instance. We know that the world is competitive but definitely need not be comparitive.
Hence I wish I could ‘Kill the Cliche’ of comparing children with each other and give them a peaceful environment to grow up.
P.S : This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.