5 Tips for new parents

5 Tips for new parents

Before the birth of the baby –

“Hey did the ultrasound results come good? Did you see the baby by yourself in the scan?”

“How many times does the baby kick in an hour? My grandson used to kick more than 100 times?”

“Are you getting enough sleep? Don’t lie down to your right, don’t lie on your back.”

.

.

.

Etc

And after the birth –

“How many times does the baby does potty? Do you check the potty color?”

“Does the kid take feeds frequently?”

“How long the baby cries?”

“Which pediatrician are you visiting? I know a top class one. Yours doesn’t seem familiar”

“Do you sterilize feeding bottle and pacifier everytime? It’s very important ”

Etc etc…

These are few question which every new parent would have heard from the day the lady announces her pregnancy. Few brag about their experience while few threaten the parents with their worse. Sometimes the parents get a doubt if they are doing good or not. Everyone (even the unmarried guy or girl in your team) would have an opinion about the very minor doubts you have on child care.

My 5 tips for new parents:

Your friends and google are not doctors:

We normally tend to share our problems with friends but if you ask me, friends are not right people to discuss about your doubts on child health. They might have kids already and also might have faced similar situation as you but it doesn’t mean that they should be right and decide on what your kid is going through. Because they are not experts in the field. And never google about symptoms of child’s health issues as Google know only one illness and it is Cancer. So avoid googling for your own peace.

Avoid discussion on comparison:

Your neighbor’s kid might have pooped the next day after its birth, but it isn’t mandatory for your kid to poop the next day it is born. While your friend’s kid might have never cried at night, doesn’t mean you are sure to get peaceful sleep. Each kid is unique in its own way. Accept the fact. Allow the kid to take its time to do stuffs. People tend to give you reasons to compare but avoid the conversation. If you really feel your kid is lagging in something better discuss with your doctor.

You cannot be a 100% perfect parent:

Noone is 100% perfect in any task but we tend to go an extra mile as a parent and give 200% effort but even then I can challenge you that you cannot be 100% perfect all the time. You won’t be always sterilizing bottles or pacifiers, you won’t be always awake to change the wet diaper before its too long, you can’t take the pain from the shots given to your babies. You would miss the schedule once in a while and its totally fine. Don’t kill yourself with unwanted guilt.

Know what works for you :

Some brands of diapers/creams/wipes does suit few kids while they wont for the other. Similarly the supplementary food might differ to work with kids. Since the best brands works good for someone doesn’t mean that it should work for your too. Also some kids sleep listening to music while few kids won’t. Every kid is born with its own way of accepting and rejecting things. Know what works fine for you and your kid.

Take notes when you visit your doctor:

Before you visit your doctor, prepare notes on all questions that is running in your mind. Do not leave even a single one and manage to put through the questions to your doctor. Every doctor is responsible of hearing your questions and answer to it. And i know pedestrians definitely do itto new parents. Get all your doubts clarified before you walk out. Ensure the weight, temperature is always checked and also all vaccine shots are given on time.

Babies are the bundle that comes to us with lot of responsibilities and every one of us try to be the best to our babies. We sometime go beyond out limits in the name of care. Remember that babies are like competitive exam question papers. The questions and answers need not be same for all.

Enjoy your parenthood. Create memories.

Cheers !

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I can do it…

I can do it…

I have watched “Tumhari Sulu” movie acted by Vidya Balan earlier and I got to watch the tamil version of the same “Kaatrin mozhi” yesterday in which Jothika has acted the lead role. And FYI this blog is not about the movie or my views on the movie but about the attitude of the lead role Sulochana in Hindi or Vijayalakshmi in Tamil.

Have you heard the frequently used dialogue by the lead character? “Mein kar sakthi hoon” in hindi and “Ennala modiyum” in tamil which means “I can do it”. Is it easy to say that? Probably ya might sound easy to say but is it easy to follow.

When was the last time you said that and accepted a challenge or tried doing something which you are totally unaware of? We could brush the thought saying its just a movie and noone can be like that in real life. I shall agree with you on that. How can someone say “I can do it” for everything. Even after multiple failures unaffecting her. Ya didn’t you hear her hubby teasing her about her failures in chit fund business, tailoring business when she wanted to start a taxi service. How can someone say “I can do it” even after her own dad and sister bully her for being incompetent in life when she is the most competitive person. Can someone be like that in real life?

I wish I could have that spirit to say “I can do it” to my boss when he gives me new challenge, I wish I could say “I can do it” when life throws me hard days, I wish I could say “I can do it” when i fall down and I get up to run the race, I wish I could say “I can do it” to my family when they look upon me for something.

You can ask me if my life has stand still without me uttering those magic words of “I can do it” and if am not facing my challenges in day to day life.

I just want to say that the words “I can do it” is the magic potion when mixed with you action shall give you enormous courage to win any kind off situation.

Cheers !!!

My sweet memories of Madras

My sweet memories of Madras

I have been visiting Madras since I was born. But my actual memories of Madras or Chennai started from the year 2007 when I came to work and later I settled there for a decade. As everyone would agree, the stay at Chennai has been the best part of my lifetime.

I am not going to talk about my personal and professional growth in Chennai but they have been remarkable. I just wanted to mention about the moments or memories I have enjoyed being a Chennai vaasi.

1. Marina beach

Though off late people started loving bessy and tiruvanmiyur beach, I have always loved Marina. The tasty bajjis and chats have been dinner for me the days I have visited Marina. I enjoy just sitting and looking at people who visit there and who play in the water.

2. Movie theaters :

When people thronged and boasted about Sathyam and Mayajaal, I have never regretted watching movies at AGS, PVR, Kamala, Udhayam and Kasi. Though the cold coffee and popcorns aren’t great as Sathyam, the movie experience is equally good. And also since the movie plans would pop up impromptu, it was easy to get tickets at these theaters. And the celebration of FDFS can never be as best as in this theaters.

3. Transportation at Chennai:

I really miss the electric train, metro, share auto rides at Chennai. Though I am at US today travelling in good buses, my own car but I really miss the metro ride or electric train rides that I always enjoyed at Chennai.

4. Chennai food:

From idli vadai pongal to atho, from thattu kadai to thalapakatti I miss the easy reachable food joints at Chennai. The fastfood shop outside Anna nagar tower park, the bombay chat stall at KK nagar behind PSBB school, Vasantha bhavan and Saravana bhavan lunch and tiffins, Ratna hotel sambhar idli, Masala poli at Sri Krishna Sweets, Jalebis at Grand sweets, Samosas and bhel puri from gangotri, Bengal sweets from K.C.Das are the ones I have cherished.

5. Temples :

Kapaleeshwarar temple at Mylapore, TTD temple at venkatnarayana road, Sringeri mutt at Venkatnarayana road, Ayodhya mandapam, Sai baba temple at mambalam, Kali baari at Mambalam, Ayyappan temple at KK nagar and Anna nagar, Chandramoulishwarar temple at Anna nagar, Guruvayurappan temple at Mahalingapuram, Maakaliamman temple at Anna nagar, Nanganallur Anjaneyar temple, Iskon chennai, St thomas mount basilica, Santhome Cathedral are the places I have visited the most. I would guarantee that you would have atleast visited few of this prominent temples if you have been at chennai for worship or for the prasadam.

6. Chennai Egmore / Central station :

“Passengers your attention please”. You should have always heard this when you have travelled in train from one of these stations. Lot of memorable journeys have started from here or would have end here. How much I love Indian railways inspite of thousand complaints we have with them.

7. Spirit of chennai :

Whether its IPL match or any celebration, whether its about Floods or vardha cyclone , chennai people have expressed so much of positivity towards the situation.

8. Malls :

We have so many new malls coming up in nook and corner of Chennai today but when I started my living at Chennai it had 2 prominent malls. The oldest Spencers plaza and citi center. Then from Express Avenue, Vijaya forum to VR mall today have emerged to be huge but still I used to go to Spencer plaza to do shopping. Still there are shops who sell in agreeable rates.

Chennai has been the city which has given a lot to the people whoever have come to the city for living.

Vanthaarai vaazhavaikkum chennai.

I miss you lot, Chennai aka Madras. Stay as positive as always.Chennai and later I settled there for a decade. As everyone would agree, the stay at Chennai has been the best part of my lifetime.

Is it ok to cross the line of discipline?

Is it ok to cross the line of discipline?

A friend had visited us a week back with her son. It wasn’t a very pleasant visit atleast for us. I am not very sure about her. Her son literally created chaos at our home. She was totally silent about it. I doubt if she even cared about the chaos he was doing. As she left, she didn’t even say a sorry. This just hasn’t happened with us but with other common friends too.

This blog is not just about that friend of mine but about many other parents who really dont give it a damn when their kids behave weirdly or inappropriately. There are lot of them, I meet at my son’s school or in the community I live. They are not ready to take the responsibility of correcting their kids. A parent was calmly telling that his son is pampered a lot by his family members and so he doesn’t change. Another one says that he doesn’t want to embarass his kids in front of others. Man, talking all this we are making our kids emotionally weak.

What are we doing with our kids? We allow them to grow up however they want? In the name of respecting them, are we spoiling them? I have always been told by my mom that its better if we correct our children, than a third person doing it. It would hurt both us and the kids.

I don’t know if I am overthinking. I correct my 4 year old son everytime he crosses that line of discipline. Am i reacting a lot while other parents play it cool? The question keeps ringing in my mind…

The tiny tots and their emotions

Do you think only pregnant women have mood swings?

You want to see someone who can showcase more emotional changes than a oscar winning actor?

You think only your friend is a drama queen or king who acts to get hus or her thing done as his or her wish?

If the answer is yes for the above questions then it means that you have not been a dad yet or you don’t have kids at your home for whose actions you are primarily responsible.

Infants and emotions are like the waves in CRT monitor in the hospitals. They are never constant and they should not be (if they are , you should seriously meet a doctor). They always change based on their need. For example, my son wakes up a day with a beaming smile and on the contrast he might wake up crying loudly the very next day. But there are few emotions which are static like the excitement when we take him to his favourite place, but them their favourite toy or simply gifting them for their good attitude. Infact their life is quite tough as they don’t know to express what is there in their mind as adults and so they chose an emotion to fulfill their needs.

So how do we deal with the emotional ups and downs the infants showcase? Frankly telling you its always not easy to convince them but i have few tips:

1. Do not encourage kids to throw tantrum: Kids have the habit of throwing tantrums to get their needs fulfilled but encouraging that shall make them believe that its a solution to get things from us. So do not encourage them throwing tantrums.

2. Encourage them to be happy : When kids are in happy mood, they will be too much excited and do things which might irritate the parents but it should not be restricted as stopping them shall discourage them from being happy and make them fear of being happiness.

3. Be a friend when they are upset : Be a friend to your infant and gain their trust so that they open up to you about their problems. Its easy for the infants to express their happiness but its not easy to express when they are upset. Find ways to make them happy and come to normalcy.

4. Know the reason of their tears. If they cry for a reason try to solve it but its frivolous then try to divert them to something which can excite them.

5. Be an ideal parent: Infants learn to showcase their emotion from the parent. So we share the responsibility to teach them the right way to express their feelings and how to control certain emotions at places.

In the emotional roller coaster of the infants we might lose cool at times but its more important to remember that kids are the purest souls after all and they don’t know to fake their feelings. Its us the parents who have to learn the tactics to handle the little ones for the benefit of both.